When Hell’s Embassy was first established in Paris, it was situated under the guillotine at Place de la Revolution (now Place de la Concorde), as Ambassador Belphegor found the constant stream of blood from above “refreshing” (and delicious!). As the city expanded, the Embassy has moved beneath various notable locations, including Napoleon’s Tomb, Pere Lachaise Cemetery and The Place That Shall Not Be Named, but the busybody exorcists always drove us out. In the first half of the 20th century, we found a real home in the sub-basement of the Cabaret de L’Enfer in Montmartre, but this was demolished in 1950*. Luckily, the rise of secularism in France has allowed us more stability, and since that time we have been located deep within the Paris Catacombs at the Barrière d’Enfer (see picture above).
The main functions of the Embassy, as always, have been:
- Sowing discord between France and its neighbours. We were a major factor in encouraging the Napoleonic Wars, and the first to greet the German armies in 1871 and 1940. Unfortunately, the rise of the European Union has led to relative peace in Europe for much too long, but it is hoped that the recent rise of nationalism will lead to renewed bloodshed.
- Hosting “special” events for the rich and famous. Whether you are an industrialist, a film/music star or a sports idol, you can express your individual desires in your own unique way, in our public spaces or in private—just you and your partner(s) and/or victim(s)†. Please contact us for details.
- Various consular services. Come and check us out. You may never leave!
* Those responsible have received appropriate punishment.
† Available upon request.
